awfh i just gotta blog this.

so in the morning in the kitchen my dad told me i had anemia. and started to scare me about how its going to kill my brain cells. and that kind of worried me because i already thought i was kind of stupid and i couldn't afford to lose more brain cells. like for real.

so later on in the afternoon my mother brought me to gleneagles hospital and asked for a female gynochologist. because the last male gynochologist i went to MADE ME FEEL SO AWKWARD.

he was sorta unbuttoning my shorts and feeling mai boobs and that me feel soo pedophile-attacked. HEY no i understand its his job to do that but i just didn't feel right D: <
he was feeling my boobs to see if they're swollen. however thats possible.
and he unbuttoned my shorts to put the scanner against my womb to see if i was PREGNANT.

UGH NO.

anyway, i went to the hospital and i was feeling rather weak , walking around. and i tell you, i can not walk around for more than 30 seconds? i would just feel like sitting down REALLY BADLY.

so when i finally got to talk to the FEMALE doctor, she told me i had ANEMIA.
which is not a disease which it sounds like it is, its more like a process.
i have a low blood defficiency and i dont have sufficient haemoglobin in my body.
so everything i do is JUST EXHAUSTING. and my heart has to work harder and pump faster? D:
if i just walk to the bathroom from my room, i would be able to hear my heartbeat in my head.
much like after you go jogging or something. and when i talk about exhausted i don't mean like out of breath, i mean like if you feel like fainting or if you have a fever and don't have energy to do anything kind of exhausted.

meh, sometimes people don't believe me when i say im exhausted because of my menses because that just sounds like an excuse for when i didn't try enough and just gave up .

like i run to the kitchen and come back panting. then complain that its my menses and i have no energy. to other people it might sound like bullshit.

anyway the doctor told me i had to take a blood test. and that was the words i did not want to hear.
BLOOD TEST UGHH.
i hate neeedllleees!! ): ESPECIALLY IF THEY WERE TO BE PRICKED INTO ONE OF MY SENSITIVE AREAS. i mean, my neck , wrists and the blood drawing spot?

I HATE IT ITS SO GROOOOOOOOOOOSSSS.
anyway, some doctor finally came up and took my blood.
she said the amount she needed was 15cc.
anyway this doctor ( which was a different doctor btw ) she took so long to finally prick the needle into me. i have no idea why but recently i've been feeling soo emotional. like usually when it comes to blood draws i don't cry. but this time i did. i guess i feel like so much is happening and all at once.

one of them is my infected tragus.
been taking antibiotics for it D: < and i really find that its so troublesomeee.
also have been going to the doctor for him to like prick my ear with a needle and squeeze out the pus.
i also can't swim because of the infection ):
the doctors also stressed the fact that if i don't complete the antibiotics or STOP taking it, i'm going to be immune to the antibiotics. and for the future times when i use antibiotics its going to be useless.

SO SCARY.
so anyway i cried like a sissy when she took my blood . this blood draw actually hurt more than usual and the prick was SO PAINFUL GOSH. like this rush of adreneline rushed throughout my body.
and while she was drawing my blood there were times where it hurt like crap and i had to bear with it ):

and sooo , they said in a few hours they'll tell me my blood level or something. i was told the average human should have a blood level of 11.2 and turns out i had the blood level of 5.2 and the doctor said thats half of what i should be walking around with. if i was an adult and had the blood level of 5.2 i would have fainted already.

meh so scary. so i couldn't leave the .. clinic room hospital thing?
because when a nurse called me and my mom to the counter to talk about my medicine i couldn't stand the giddiness, after about 10 seconds i just HAD to sit down. i felt like i was going to faint any moment.
so i rushed back to the seats with a few stares.

from there, i could not get up, i was too afraid if i stood up it'll tire me . i also felt nauseous and felt like i needed to puke because they gave me a cup of hot milo to drink along with my medicine. i took a few sips of the milo and had to stop because i felt like i was going to puke it out any moment.

my mom and nurse asked if i could walk downstairs, if not they would have to keep me here in the hospital. i said i didn't think so but i also didn't want to stay in the hospital.
i wanted to ask for a wheelchair ? but it might seem like i was over reacting and being a drama queen about myself.
so i didn't.
eventually, the nurse asked if i wanted a wheelchair, and i realised i had no other option if i wanted to get back home. so i said yes. the nurse was soooo nice.
i expected some doctors and nurses to be like, i will only help you. for money.
but this nurse was like i will do it volunteerily cause i care <3

so when i got into the lift in the wheelchair with the nurse pushing me, 2 aunties turned around to look at me. probably looking for like a cast on my leg or something.
but no .
meh.

anyway so when i got back home the doctor called my mother to tell her about the results of my (whateveritis) level. they said i needed to come back again tomorrow morning for a blood transfusion.
ohmygod those words sound so scary

I HATE NEEEDLLEEESSS T_T
on the BRIGHT SIDE.

I HAVE 4 DIFFERNET TYPES OF MEDICINE TO TAKE.
one of them i have to take 2 tablets, THREE TIMES DAILY.

and i just researched one of the side effects of the medicine,
it might cause, : nausea , diarrhea , vomiting.
OHMYGOSH DUDE?!
i was so hesitant when i had to take the tablet. like dude. im like taking a pill to give me all those uncomfortable consequences!

ughhhhh ):
totally terrified.
plus when i got the news from my brother that i had to go back for blood transfusion i just started to cry. like dude when will these hospital problems end and when can i finally live a carefree life D:

i cried not because i was just scared of the needle in me for probably a few hours a day but i was also scared of the isolated feeling i'll get when i stay in the hospital for a few days without contacting people. i really would go crazy if i don't contact the public or friends D:
like i'd be really sad . they make me so happpy!!
i might even be missing the first day of schoooool.

anemia was also passed down from my family's genes D:
STUPID ANEMIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA D:

awfh i just gotta blog this.

so in the morning in the kitchen my dad told me i had anemia. and started to scare me about how its going to kill my brain cells. and that kind of worried me because i already thought i was kind of stupid and i couldn't afford to lose more brain cells. like for real.

so later on in the afternoon my mother brought me to gleneagles hospital and asked for a female gynochologist. because the last male gynochologist i went to MADE ME FEEL SO AWKWARD.

he was sorta unbuttoning my shorts and feeling mai boobs and that me feel soo pedophile-attacked. HEY no i understand its his job to do that but i just didn't feel right D: <
he was feeling my boobs to see if they're swollen. however thats possible.
and he unbuttoned my shorts to put the scanner against my womb to see if i was PREGNANT.

UGH NO.

anyway, i went to the hospital and i was feeling rather weak , walking around. and i tell you, i can not walk around for more than 30 seconds? i would just feel like sitting down REALLY BADLY.

so when i finally got to talk to the FEMALE doctor, she told me i had ANEMIA.
which is not a disease which it sounds like it is, its more like a process.
i have a low blood defficiency and i dont have sufficient haemoglobin in my body.
so everything i do is JUST EXHAUSTING. and my heart has to work harder and pump faster? D:
if i just walk to the bathroom from my room, i would be able to hear my heartbeat in my head.
much like after you go jogging or something. and when i talk about exhausted i don't mean like out of breath, i mean like if you feel like fainting or if you have a fever and don't have energy to do anything kind of exhausted.

meh, sometimes people don't believe me when i say im exhausted because of my menses because that just sounds like an excuse for when i didn't try enough and just gave up .

like i run to the kitchen and come back panting. then complain that its my menses and i have no energy. to other people it might sound like bullshit.

anyway the doctor told me i had to take a blood test. and that was the words i did not want to hear.
BLOOD TEST UGHH.
i hate neeedllleees!! ): ESPECIALLY IF THEY WERE TO BE PRICKED INTO ONE OF MY SENSITIVE AREAS. i mean, my neck , wrists and the blood drawing spot?

I HATE IT ITS SO GROOOOOOOOOOOSSSS.
anyway, some doctor finally came up and took my blood.
she said the amount she needed was 15cc.
anyway this doctor ( which was a different doctor btw ) she took so long to finally prick the needle into me. i have no idea why but recently i've been feeling soo emotional. like usually when it comes to blood draws i don't cry. but this time i did. i guess i feel like so much is happening and all at once.

one of them is my infected tragus.
been taking antibiotics for it D: < and i really find that its so troublesomeee.
also have been going to the doctor for him to like prick my ear with a needle and squeeze out the pus.
i also can't swim because of the infection ):
the doctors also stressed the fact that if i don't complete the antibiotics or STOP taking it, i'm going to be immune to the antibiotics. and for the future times when i use antibiotics its going to be useless.

SO SCARY.
so anyway i cried like a sissy when she took my blood . this blood draw actually hurt more than usual and the prick was SO PAINFUL GOSH. like this rush of adreneline rushed throughout my body.
and while she was drawing my blood there were times where it hurt like crap and i had to bear with it ):

and sooo , they said in a few hours they'll tell me my blood level or something. i was told the average human should have a blood level of 11.2 and turns out i had the blood level of 5.2 and the doctor said thats half of what i should be walking around with. if i was an adult and had the blood level of 5.2 i would have fainted already.

meh so scary. so i couldn't leave the .. clinic room hospital thing?
because when a nurse called me and my mom to the counter to talk about my medicine i couldn't stand the giddiness, after about 10 seconds i just HAD to sit down. i felt like i was going to faint any moment.
so i rushed back to the seats with a few stares.

from there, i could not get up, i was too afraid if i stood up it'll tire me . i also felt nauseous and felt like i needed to puke because they gave me a cup of hot milo to drink along with my medicine. i took a few sips of the milo and had to stop because i felt like i was going to puke it out any moment.

my mom and nurse asked if i could walk downstairs, if not they would have to keep me here in the hospital. i said i didn't think so but i also didn't want to stay in the hospital.
i wanted to ask for a wheelchair ? but it might seem like i was over reacting and being a drama queen about myself.
so i didn't.
eventually, the nurse asked if i wanted a wheelchair, and i realised i had no other option if i wanted to get back home. so i said yes. the nurse was soooo nice.
i expected some doctors and nurses to be like, i will only help you. for money.
but this nurse was like i will do it volunteerily cause i care <3

so when i got into the lift in the wheelchair with the nurse pushing me, 2 aunties turned around to look at me. probably looking for like a cast on my leg or something.
but no .
meh.

anyway so when i got back home the doctor called my mother to tell her about the results of my (whateveritis) level. they said i needed to come back again tomorrow morning for a blood transfusion.
ohmygod those words sound so scary

I HATE NEEEDLLEEESSS T_T
on the BRIGHT SIDE.

I HAVE 4 DIFFERNET TYPES OF MEDICINE TO TAKE.
one of them i have to take 2 tablets, THREE TIMES DAILY.

and i just researched one of the side effects of the medicine,
it might cause, : nausea , diarrhea , vomiting.
OHMYGOSH DUDE?!
i was so hesitant when i had to take the tablet. like dude. im like taking a pill to give me all those uncomfortable consequences!

ughhhhh ):
totally terrified.
plus when i got the news from my brother that i had to go back for blood transfusion i just started to cry. like dude when will these hospital problems end and when can i finally live a carefree life D:

i cried not because i was just scared of the needle in me for probably a few hours a day but i was also scared of the isolated feeling i'll get when i stay in the hospital for a few days without contacting people. i really would go crazy if i don't contact the public or friends D:
like i'd be really sad . they make me so happpy!!
i might even be missing the first day of schoooool.

anemia was also passed down from my family's genes D:
STUPID ANEMIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA D: